by Handan Aydin

Mixing of Sesame Seed and Rice


In front of me, the Kama Sutra, which explains a certain embrace where man and woman press their whole bodies together, naming this the mixing of Sesame seed and Rice.
The Kama Sutra has so many different variations on how to make love. The sexual positions in this book must have shook the Westerners when they first saw it. In Western European countries where Abraham based religions kept trying to guard
and control sexuality in the time that they ‘discovered’ the east. The title underneath the book the Kama Sutra is Knowledge for men & Wisdom for women. I look at the pictures, where the women are pink and brown coloured and most men
are blue. Like the God Krishna. They are all in sexual positions which are quite intriguing. Keep in mind that it was written almost 2000 years ago, some advice should be taken with a grain of salt. Let me focus on what stood out for me in the
Kama Sutra.

The Kama Sutra is one of those books that everybody likes to talk about. They have all kinds of ideas of what KamaSutra is. The Kama Sutra was written by the Sage Vatsyayana, who lived around 200 AD. He wanted to convey the virtues of life:

– Kama:                 enjoying the senses
– Dharma:             virtuous living
– Artha:                 gaining wealth
– Moksha:             liberation (freedom of the cycle of reincarnation)

The Kama Sutra has seven books and they all describe the way to Kama: how to enjoy the senses or the pleasure of the senses. Only one of these books describes actual sexuality.
It is always so funny to me that everytime we see something sexual, we get fixated. Our oldest part of the brain, near the stem what is called our lizard brain focuses on sex and food. We start acting all weird, because it is about sex. Although it is as common as eating, we still get a little startled when the word is said. It sometimes is like our childhood ideas are still there.

I open the book at the part for women, it says:
For all the words we have to describe love, we have as many if not more, to describe a woman. The woman is always central to the theme, she is the pivot around, which the quest for love turns. Is it her beauty of face and form that men have been seeking down the ages? Or is it the center of her heart, and the quality of her mind?

Sage Vatsyayana has long lists of instructions for men, but he also reminds women that being beautiful is just a part of winning a man’s heart. Performing arts, decorative arts, martial arts and mystical arts (to name a few) were all required to
capture the heart of the guy But It was not only about capturing hearts.

‘if the man is too critical of you, if he has foul breath, does he lie, cheat or brag? If he loves his friends more than he loves you?’ Vatsayana then advises women to stay away from that man. I think even in this time some women can take that advice pretty seriously.

The Kama Sutra also has classifications for men and women. In our culture we like to talk about the penis size for men, meaning bigger is better. And wanting vagina’s to be small and tight. Even when I am writing these words down, I feel that there is a mismatch. The Kama Sutra found a way for this.

The classifications
for men                                  for women
Rabbit                                   Deer small
Bull                                        Mare medium
Horse                                    Elephant large

The Kama Sutra says that size has nothing to do with the intensity of passion or even the performance. The general idea projected by the media nowadays is that a man is a Horse size, he has a good performance. This according to the Kama Sutra is not true. It continues about the three forms of desire: low, middle and intense. Even for duration there is: short, medium and prolonged likings of durations. So a man with low passion, it is best to be with a woman who has the same desire. Same goes for the sizes: a Horse man, goes best with an Elephant woman. Although with skills a lot of variations are still pleasurable. Vatsayana talks also about how one can embrace: touching, piercing, rubbing and pressing. Touching and piercing happens when you do not know each other that well, rubbing and pressing when you are lovers.

What is most striking in the Kama Sutra is the fact that courting, love making and sexuality is so well written and researched. Indian culture has really thought about it. How as a man you invite your lover, with food, drinks and sweets to slowly start
giving her the attention. Even the Kama Sutra knew that a woman takes more time to get aroused. And for all the people who think that longer relations lose passion it says that novelty will kindle passion, but consideration and tenderness are the ingredients that will keep the passion alive for a long time.

With love,
Handan

Share this