by Handan Aydin

What are the ingredients that make us excited?


There have been endless songs about love and sexuality. Movies, poems, theater pieces have been made about it. If there is something that keeps our minds interested is that good chemistry that we have with another person. We all know that there are differences between man and woman. This could be because of how we are brought up or how society treats us.

But scientists have been studying this for a while now.
There is this one study that has been done to see how you could make a female Viagra, because most men want a woman to be as fast ‘aroused’ as they can be. So they decided to research female orgasm;
1. Female gets aroused; heartbeat and breathing exhilarates, inner labia and clitoris swell
2. Plateau; wetness in mouth and vagina increase, inner labia and clitoris double in size. Involuntary muscle contractions. Breasts swell
3. Orgasm: rhythmic contractions of the muscles of the vagina and vulva. Letting go of the tension of the body.
4. Relaxation: the body goes back to relaxation

To look at how a clitoral orgasm works, this was a good research. Unfortunately, the question HOW to get a woman aroused was not answered by this, because a woman was still not as fast aroused as most men are. Believe me that a lot of women can get more aroused from a pair of shoes than having sex.
Two researchers, Two men named John Banckroft and Eric Jansen started researching more and they have found deeper insights.

They said that there are two things in work that is the acceleration and the breaks. I was happy that they used automotive terms for this, because it really is easy in explaining.
The first one they called SES: Sexual Excitation System, this is about the acceleration system. Questions like what makes you excited? What makes you turned on? Our whole system, our eyes and smell is always scanning and looking for a possible match. Pheromones are working. Women and men have the same system. There are times that we even scan without knowing.

The second system they called the SIS, also known as the Sexual Inhibition System, our breaks. They researchers divided the SIS in two ways, the hand break and the foot break. Let me try to explain this, you could be walking down the road and seeing a good looking man, pheromones working, eyes meet. But it isn’t really the right place to get all excited, so you put some breaks on. You keep your foot on that break. And you just walk on.
Let’s look at the second scenario, but now you are at a party. You meet that same gentleman and things go a little bit different. Your eyes meet, he comes closer, you smile, he says hi. You are in an environment where you feel comfortable, so your foot break is already much looser.

But now we also have a second break. I hope you are still with me here. We also have a hand break. In this situation it could go something like this…

He smiled, he said hi. You start talking. You see that he likes you. And then you look at his hands and you see a wedding ring. And now your hand break kicks in. You say, nice meeting you and you walk away.
This is an example, because the hand break could be also something else or maybe his wedding ring is not a problem to you.

Our breaks are different with every person and situation.
With a man and a woman, it works differently and now you want to find out with people that you find interesting, what are their breaks?

What I do know is that most of the time the SES works very well with almost anybody. We know what makes us excited. But the SIS is different for every one of us. Some people do not seem to have any breaks and other people have just been to the mechanic and they are tight.
Or maybe you are always driving with your breaks.
In todays society men have more freedom, they are more allowed to be sexual. Until of course they have a relationship and then they are asked to be monogamous. In other articles I will say more about that.
The writer of Fifty Shades of Grey understood this very well. Basically all the books that deal with meeting a man, work with this idea. Women know what excites them, but we think we can’t. In books you see that women their sexuality is encouraged and also celebrated. And women can read them, without feeling that they are judged.
I would say, that is your Pink Viagra.

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